Memoirs of a Chocolate Banana Fanatic

May God be with You

2008-02-05T23:43:00.000-08:00

With reference to Graham Greene's A Visit to Morin.

"It needs a child to say to these theologians, Why? Why not? Why not an infinite series of causes? Why should the existence of a good and a better imply the existence of a best? This playing with words. We invent the words and make arguments from them. The better is not a fact; it is only a word and a human judgement."

FOR MY POINT OF VIEW, what is God to you all? What is religion to you all?? To acknowledge that there is always someone up there far more magnificent and powerful than anyone, so we can submit ourselves to HIM in order to live a better, fulfilling life? Or, to use it against anyone who do not believe in order to make yourself righteous? Take for example Christians and Muslims, a never-ending war between two titans whose Bible and Koran actually contains approximately the same messages. Put it this way, maybe someone in the past decides to sow discord in a particular religion, therefore he breaks a religion into different languages, different names for God, which started the war ever since the beginning of time. We will never know the past as it is only recorded by imperfect human begins. Yet we know that we have been using words against each other for centuries that reduces civilizations to a jungle filled with animals fighting against each other over a pointless cause. We talk about animal cruelty, yet we do not have any compassion to humans of different races and religions. Does that make us worse than animals?

"A man can accept anything to do with God until scholars begin to go into the details and the implications."

We refuse to believe anything that is bad, because we have the choice. However, sometimes we fail to differentiate from the good and the bad. At the first place, what is good, and what is bad? The good and the bad is only defined by words and human judgemen according to our upbringing and belief. Thus free will is beautiful yet ugly. What does it take for us to earn a way to Heaven? I say we should stop thinking of such nonsense! We are living in a place that was once called Heaven, which becomes a living Hell, thanks to we pathetic humans.

2008 New Year in HongKong

2008-01-06T00:59:00.000-08:00

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008!

I got this feeling nobody will notice that I just wrote this new post... But you know what? HECK CARE! I am still going to post this. It's a NEW YEAR, at least I have to WRITE something in this pathetic blog right?? Well, this time, I shall type where did I celebrate New Year 2008. HONG KONG! Yes, I have many friends will envy me... So WHAT? I don't think they will even notice me typing this post right?? Let's see... I find it long-winded to describe what I did in HK, so I shall not type it here.. Waste time don't you think??? OH! But let me list what are the stuffs I got here, so maybe some friends who happen to view my blog will envy me..

1. 2 pairs of Acupuncture Shoes - This is really the most heartbreaking stuff I bought here. $899 HK each! I decided to buy one more for my sayang, you see... I am a nice guy.

2. H&M jacket and vest - Something you won't get in SINGAPORE!!! Hahaha! People, envy me!!!

3. Dragonball toy - Small lil toys, but cost me at least $130 HK!!

4. Stussy Cap - Ah!! This is Good shit! At least something I will never find in Singapore!!! But it costs $320 HK....

5. DVDs - Yeah!!! This is main reason I come to HK. DVDS!!

Ok... That's basically the stuff I got here... And that's what I am going to "describe" what I did in HK. The rest are in the pictures posted in Facebook. (LAZY)

Work hard, Play harder, Eat more

2007-03-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

I began my first filming project in Murdoch University. Finally after so many years, I am back studying what I love most! Well, I am now doing a topic on the Pros and Cons living in the Student village.. yes, I know... Cliche.. Boring.. Whatever! What's important to me now is I am filming again! I get to hold the camera, I get to direct and I get to edit!! Not just standing around trying to help or look busy back in MediaCock.. I guess I need to pay more attention to the shots and my planning... I am getting lazy nowadays! Life here too SLACK ar!!

Nowadays, I am checking out the good food here.. and guess what I found? Chilli Mussels! Fish and Chips! hmmmmm.... GOOD SHIT leh! Goodness! I think chilli mussels are the ONLY supper that's worth it and worth going for again and again! I still miss Geylang's Beef Hor Fun, Katong Laksa, Marine Parades Char Kway Tiao, Bedok's Oyster Ommelette (I admit my spelling sucks ok???) FOOOOD! Something here is seriously LACK of!

As for playing... What have I PLAYED? Except going to the beach, driving around Perth and crashing around in student village and the 'tavern', NOTHING MUCH TO PLAY! Yes, there are clubs here.. But if you are a Singaporean, you will still prefer Phuture in Zouk and Ministry of Sound back in Singapore... The music there flows! For here, I don't know what the DJs are doing, they are mixing different genres of music together like RoJak (is this spelling correct???) !!!!

Well, but overall, I am still having fun leh! Please don't be jealous peeps, at least you guys are sleeping in your own cosy big bedrooms, mine's SO SMALL!

Chan's Back!

2007-03-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

Hi! for all of my friends who think I am not writing any nonsense in this blog, well, I am telling you, "I am going to write some more Nonsense again! Since I am so bored in my new Habitat, living in a period called the quarter-life crisis, in this quarter-to-perfect apartment in my quarter-to-dead-of-boredom life..

So, maybe some of my friends might think, "Where the hell is Zhiwei?? He disappeared in Singapore!" Well, let me tell u peeps, I am IN PERTH NOW! STUDYING FOR MY DEGREE!! so, if you want to find me, please book your tickets for a flight to Perth to visit me, because I am tooo POOR to return back to Singapore, and I am trying to escape the Army! hahaha! (hate reservist... is this the right spelling??) ARMY SUCKS! I am so happy I ORDed!

I am living in Perth for the past 3-4 weeks, do you know how is it like to live in Perth? It's like sitting at your crouch, eating nothing (because everything here is expensive?), watching TV(some stupid local programs), looking at our Singapore sea being polluted by the oil ships out there 24/7... YES!! It is BORING here!! Not to rub it in, but everything here except the alcohol, is PARKING EXPENSIVE! yeah, PARKING EXPENSIVE! In case you don't know the meaning of "PARKING", I give you a clue. Read this aloud to yourself, "Ayam PARKING we tart dirt". If you get the meaning, yeah, that's what I am referring to.. PARKING EXPENSIVE!

Other than that, check out the beaches in Perth, it's B-E-A-UTIFUL! It's something you will think it's worth living in Perth. I am heading to the BEACH once EVERY WEEK! And I LOVE IT! However, summer is coming to an end.. DAMN.. I LOVE the summer, although it's PARKING hot... it's like 43 DEGREES here! 43!!!!

Well, I am going to end here and attach 2 recent pictures of myself and my 2 funny frens along this post... just to let you know the shades I am wearing is RAY-BAN! You have to know this, whoever wears a RAY-BAN will definitely LOOK COOL, FEEL COOL and ACT COOL... Trust me!!

Quarter-life Crisis

2006-12-18T11:53:00.000-08:00

Finally free to write a new post for my blog!
Well, I am quite done with my job in MediaCock, now I am moving on for my studies in Murdoch University. I'm having many mixed feelings nowadays. So many things happened which make me think of not leaving Singapore... Must be my quarter-life crisis again.
Moving over to Murdoch University in Perth is difficult, it means I have to leave many things and people behind. I believe my good buddy is going through the same difficulties as mine.
Get a grip MR CHAN! You have waited so long for this day to come! Now, what's important than anything else is to go get that degree back!
YES, I'm definitely going to MISS someone particularly here in Singapore, but nothing's gonna stop me from going Australia. I'm going to get my degree!!

Celebration of my End

2006-11-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday, I decided to go Zouk to celebrate the beginning of my hellish work schedule. So, I try to force my dear colleague (who happens to be her last day at work) to go with me. How ironic, she celebrates her last day, I celebrate my beginning. There is such a saying, "Your Beginning is also your End". Sigh......
Problems aside, I am still going to have fun whether I am tired or not!
Firstly, I will try to invite myself to join a group of editors and my dear fortunate colleague, whom are intending to go for a KTV session at Kbox. SUCCESS! I managed to join them after much persuasion. You people got to imagine that, one guy, joining a girls' outing, is very difficult to archieve...
Secondly, I shall meet up with my dear colleague and her friend, along with another male colleague at zouk. It seems to me that the male colleague is not dancing, such a nice guy. Which means I will have 2, TWO, 'Er', 'Duex', 2 FEMALES to dance with!! Can you imagine that??? 1 guy dance with 2 girls, that's gonna make alot of people wonder, 'what are these 3 people doing??' 'threesome???'.
What a great celebration! I can never imagine a celebration of my end would be such FUN! I encourage you people, when your deadlines are coming, PLEASE, go celebrate! You will have fun like you never had any fun before!!

Allons Petite

2006-10-29T01:55:00.000-08:00

Check out this album called "made in France" by Clementine. Bossa Nova, Beautiful voice, Enticing lyrics, and what can I say, WONDERFUL MUSIQUE!
I was looking for this album for a loooooong time! I managed to find it in Gramophone for $22.90! Not a good deal! So I went to MPH to try my luck and I bought it for $9.90 there!! What a magnificent difference!
I am now so in love with Clementine's beautiful relaxing voice. Who has a voice like hers? Can you be my Girlfriend??

A Music to Remember

2006-10-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

Cristofori's Dream by David Lanz

A music so soft and relaxing that I have been listening to it over and over again. Who is Cristofori? Is he refering to Bartolomeo Cristofori di Francesco, the piano inventor? What is his dream? Why does it sound so beautiful yet depressing?

What are our dreams? Could our dreams be interpreted into a music that's as soft, as beautiful as Cristofori's? Or is it so depressing that sometimes we have to wake up crying? Or is it too beautiful that sometimes we wake up, we wept because the dreams we had, are never going to happen in our real lives?

Will our dreams come true eventually? If we work so hard in life, are we able to turn our dreams into reality?

Words from the Past.

2006-10-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

I wonder if you're lonesome tonight

You know someone said that the world's a stage

And each must play a part.

Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart.

Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance

You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue

Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange

And why I'll never know.

Honey, you lied when you said you loved me.

And I had no cause to doubt you.

But I'd rather go on hearing your lies,

Than go on living without you.

Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there,

With emptiness all around.

And if you won't come back to me,

Then make them bring the curtain down.

A Letter for Someone I Love

2006-10-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

I know you won't be looking at my blog, therefore I can say it here, what's really on my mind. I don't want you to feel bad or anything, when you tell me the truth.

I am putting on a mask, trying to smile and joke with you, even you said you wanted to give a second thought about this relationship. I don't want to force you to make the decision, because I don't want you to regret. BUT, actually, I am not that generous. I am so sad, because I knew I am going to lose you. I would do anything to win your heart, seriously. But I am afraid I will still lose you eventually. I am lying to myself whenever I think that you will choose me. How would you give up your love with someone you knew so long, over a guy whom you just know? Reality is always being cruel to me.

People can say I am a jerk. Well, I am a jerk! You can be honest and straightforward when you told me you have second thoughts about this relationship, but I can't be honest and straightforward to tell you that I love you and I will never let you go..

What can I do?

2006-09-28T00:34:00.000-07:00

How long since I have last written a blog? Months? Weeks? Time flies, now I am working and I don't have the time to write my nonsense in this nonsense blog. Now I am rotting in the office, and trying to look as busy as possible, so I decided to take some time, some privacy to write a personal yet boring blog. As you should know, this is MY blog, so I STILL can write whatever I want to write.
Hmm.. what should I write? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...............

Because it's a secret, so I typed it in white font.. That's all!!

Work

2006-08-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

A signature that secures my destiny and my place in MediaCorp on Thursday 24th Aug. My 4 months journey as a assistant producer in a channel 8 variety show called "A star Planners" had BEGUN!
It was uncomfortable to be in the office where everyone's a stranger except my ex-classmate in NYP, Lishan. And, I suddenly have to take up this responsibility that will affect the effectiveness and time for the whole production. Scary. But for my future plan and dream of being a Director, this is my first step! Cool! Nervous! Anxious! High! Happy! Damn it! I need to get a grip of myself! It's just 4 freaking months and I'll be gone!
Actually, this is my very very first, virgin, proper, job I ever had in my entire LIFE! So I got the right to be nervous right? I need to play my cards right, I cannot afford to screw up this production!!!
Well, I think the good thing is, I will be seeing alot of pretty actress around!! OH!!! I think I might be working with Fiona XIE!!! That's the good SHIT!! But she is still nothing COMPARE to the ANGELIC Suzanne Jung, the anchorwoman in Primetime Morning News! I wish I could see Suzanne Jung one day... Welcome to the media world Mr Chan Ji Wei!

A Day in MediaCorp

2006-08-15T05:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was offered to work as a game assistant (don't know why is it called like that) from my former classmate in Mediacorp. I was attached to this variety show, I think it's called Comedy King. It's a competition for a new Comedian in Channel 8, it's like those Superband, Super Idol nonsense. Same concept, but now they are looking for a Comedian.

So, I was to make sure all the contestants don't disappear when it's their time to perform, and to make sure their props are accounted for. Basically, they just call me a "nanny"... -.-" Yah, I have to babysit them all the way from the morning 9am till 11pm, when they will finish the recording in the studio. I had alot of fun there, seeing different people come out with their different performance. Some are really VERY funny. I don't know how a contestant did the Hong Kong accent so well. And she got the highest score! And some are really very lame though... so lame that the audience don't even feeling like clapping. I feel sad for them, but anyway, I am not the one of Stage!! It was a fun experience, now I just wish they have more job offers for me in MediaCorp, because I am STILL JOBLESS! Damn!! I really need the Money you know? Please, is there anyone kind enough to DONATE to the needy and poor Chan Zhiwei?

Why Chocoloate Banana Fanatic?

2006-08-13T03:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, I think it's about time I should tell you peeps why I am so crazy about Chocolate Banana. Along the way, maybe you can stop reading because you might find it stupid. But this is MY blog and it's about the Memoirs of a Chocolate Banana Fanatic! So... hear me out.

Once upon a time, when I was still in my polytechnic, studying my digital media design. I got to know two very good friends who are so gifted in drawing. They taught me, gave me advice and encourage when I am really so defeated. I was so bad in my drawing, my works, till a teacher (whom I had a crush with) told me, "Zhiwei, I suggest you should really consider changing course next year, maybe take some other courses that can suit you, because when I look at your results now (all C and D), you might not make it in your second year..." I felt like she's throwing stones at me when I am still stuck at the bottom of the damn well. So my 2 dear friends helped me in all ways, teaching me to draw, to come out better designs, criticise my work (cos my works really sucked).

One day, one of them, XXXX, told me to try the chocolate banana cake at the canteen in my polytechnic. "Ahh! Zhiwei, this is good shit! It's better than sex man! Try it!!" When I had my first bite on that chocolate banana cake, I am really CLOSE to tears. It's really GOOD SHIT!! I really can feel the LOVE from that cake! Since then, I love chocolate banana cake! Whenever I eat the cake, I feel like floating, feeling the love, chocolate with banana taste melting in my mouth, the sweetness, the slight bitterness in the chocolate, the softness, the tenderness. (ok, it's getting out of point)

Well, people, this is only the first part of "why-I-like-Chocolate-Banana" memoir. I shall continue this when I really have the mood, too tired and bored typing all these nonsense. But you guys really should try chocolate banana cake! Starbucks used to have it, now Coffee bean has it, erm somewhere in Takashimaya also have it (someone told me). FEEL THE LOVE! Try it!!

Failure or Stupid?

2006-08-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I really thought about this, Zhiwei!!! Are you a failure? Or are you just so stupid? Well, I shall explain it here since this is MY blog and people might just don't give a damn with this stupid blog.

Zhiwei! Why are you always lost in words when it comes to expressing your feelings to someone you like? Last time, your ex-girlfriend thought that was cute, but now! NO ONE will be bothered with you! Was it that difficult to say,

"I love you!"? (nono.. too cliche.) "I don't just LIKE you. I LOVE you! We men are jerks, but would you give a chance to this jerk to love you, to be there for you?" (ok.. CLICHE CLICHE)
But does it matter?? At least you are trying your best to express how you feel for that girl!

"I know I have my difficulties expressing my feelings for you, because I was also hurt once in a relationship. But I am not afraid to start one with you. Because, I love you."
Reasons you can give, excuses you can come out with. But that's the TRUTH about yourself!
You tell people to feel the love when you can't even feel it yourself! Zhiwei, give yourself some courage, even if you fail, you are still a HAPPY loser!
There's this saying, "Be a Man, Do the Right Thing!"
(Ok, I kinda regret posting this, really makes me look like a loser. But who cares, this is still MY boring blog for goodness sake!)

Lindy Hop

2006-08-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today was my first lesson in 3rd grade of lindy hop. For my dear friends who never heard about lindy hop before, it's a kind of dance which you dance with a partner along with JAZZ music. It's one of my de-stress activity. Probably the only de-stress activity.. -.-"
I learnt alot of new moves here and there, tried it only my dance partner. FUN!! Heee...
(probably you guys might think dancing is nerdy or gayish, CUT that thought!)
Miss my classmates in lindy hop, most of them just DISAPPEARED after 2nd grade. Sian diao!

Today, there's this funny incident in class.. I think I really embarassed this particular guy. He would want to dance with my friend, however, she don't really like to dance with him because he's show-off and he doesn't lead well, so whenever he came over to my friend, I just have to pull her away to dance. I feel so bad for him.. haha! Come on man, don't be a show-off! Just do some dance steps that would make a girl feel comfortable to follow! -.-

Guess I really begin to enjoy this dance even after my ex-girlfriend incident. (well, not very nice to talk about it here.) But since this is my boring blog, I can say whatever I want right? Maybe share it another time.

MY first time.

2006-07-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

Let me do an introduction, the guy on the left is my BESTEST brother ever lived in this ordinary world. Knew him for almost a decade, and we spent that period of time together chasing girls. (So far, it wasn't that successful though..) The girl in the center is called Xiao Tong Zi. Ya, kinda weird name but she's just too related to "tong zi" in mahjong. Whoever knows her out there, beware of her TONG ZI powers.. And of course that skinny swine on the right side is yours truly, ME.

You know what? This is actually my FIRST time in my life I went to Sentosa beach for Sun tan. I know that makes me sound so alien, but the FACT is, I never went to a beach for sun tan till yesterday! I was always wondering, Singapore is so BLOODY hot! What's so nice to barbecue ourselves under the freaking SUN? It reminds me of the food that I used to barbecue with on the barbecue pit. I will start flipping them the other side when one side's cooked.

So much of my ordinary life in this ordinary world. I find myself being exposed to an EXTRAordinary life nowadays. TOO MUCH clubbing, mahjong, and staying-out-till-the-morning sessions! Need to find peace again.. do some more healthy kind of stuff..

I am 21 and people still call me a BOY

2006-07-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

I was hanging out with a couple of friends nowadays. FINALLY, this typical guy living in his typical boring world has some company! We were going out for KTV, ZOUK, MOUNT FABER, LABYRINTH PUB and blah blah blah. This typical world of mine has become more "colorful" with these friends I hang out with.
And there was this one day when one of them said I look like a boy. I was like, "Huh? Bu Dui leh!"

Seriously, to the people who are looking at my boring and typical blog, do I look like a BOY? So is this a compliment?
Well, it's good I look like a boy even though I am reaching 22, but it's also not good if I look like a boy. Why? Maybe I'll end up attracting older girls! Believe me or not? All my 5 past relationships, they are ALL OLDER than me! I want YOUNG GIRLS!! Hai... when will there be a day when a girl can look up to me and say, "Now, that's very MAN of you!" or "Ley Ho MAN ar!!!" -.-"
DON'T LAUGH...

A letter to ALL JERKS in Singapore

2006-07-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

A post delicated to all the jerks living in this tiny little country. That includes me I suppose? Well, it takes me some time to consider what should or should I not write in this post. Sensitive issue ya? So what makes us, man, jerks in the eyes of the women in Singapore?

Simple.
We always take things for granted!
We guys never learn to cherish the very things beside us till we begin to lose them. There's this saying, "We are also what we have lost." Chimology. I don't really understand it totally. Why are we so BLINDED by the temptations in this world? I shall concentrate on the relationship issue, since there are only 3 things human surely worry about. HEALTH, WEALTH and RELATIONSHIP. Singaporeans should be contented with the first 2 I suppose.
Don't you think sometimes, there are a particular bunch of guys that SPOIL MARKET? Guys who don't cherish their girlfriends, take advantage of them, being irresponsible and ultimately break their hearts. Some girls who experience guys like these lost their self-esteem and confidence in relationships, which make them unable to begin a new relationship even though suppose a NICE guy appear in front of them. (I am not referring to myself)

Yes, we men are jerks! We are heart-breakers!
Check this out guys! Even the BIBLE describes we guys are SERIOUS JERKS! Let's go to the book of Genesis, when Eve was tempted by the Serpent to eat the fruit on the tree of life. Actually, we can't blame her totally, we can't even blame her at all! Check this out! Genesis 3:6
"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food... she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her HUSBAND WITH HER, and he ate."
Adam is with her all the time!! He KNEW the fruit is forbidden, however he doesn't take up the responsibility to stop Eve and kill the serpent, instead he ATE the freaking fruit with her!!!!! And as the story goes on, there goes the fall of MAN and God kicked them out of the Garden of Eden and blah blah blah.

GUYS! We are jerks! Admit it! HOWEVER! There are always a bunch of men who are always trying hard to be BETTER MEN. So girls, don't give up hope on us ok?

Everybody in THE CLUB gets TIPSY!

2006-07-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

Teen Drinking is VERY BAD!
This post is describing my clubbing experience at Taipei. The difference between Singapore and Taiwan, the very BIG DIFFERENCE, you know what?

THE SERVICE IN TAIWAN IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SINGAPORE!!!!!!! (if the BLOCK LETTERS are confusing to you, let me repeat myself)
"The service in Taiwan is so much better than Singapore."
Give u a scenario,
when you go clubbing in Singapore, you want to get yourself a drink, but you don't know what to get, and you don't want to spend so much, so you ask the bartender the price of a particular drink like a gin tonic. You will get the stupid glare from that bartender, as if he thinks you are irritating or a thorn in his eye. He might disregard you, or reply you in a very impolite way.
BUT, in taiwan, they will GREET YOU, and smile, telling you the price of a drink or pass you the MENU, AND, they are very POLITE! WOAH! I was like thinking, "Hai.. what is going on with we Singaporeans?"

Let's move on, I went to this club called Luxy in Taipei. The interesting thing about this club, is that they will have this guy with a camera and a host walking around the club filming pretty gals and guys and the dance floor. (sadly, I don't have the good looks, you should know why) And this funny guy who calls himself DA GE GE, claiming to be the floor manager and passes name card to everyone, so if you want to book a table there in future or have any enquires, can give him a call.
It's like a circus in LUXY, there will be dancers dancing on the stage every hour, bartenders juggling bottles with flames, and DJs from different countries like Japan, taking turns at the turn-tables. But check this out! The people there don't understand english, and they are dancing along with hip hop songs, which are all in english. And they dance in a very HYPER MODE or a ROBOTIC MODE. Very funny! I wish I could record that down... I was dancing and hitting on a taiwanese girl who is very SHORT, about the same height of my ex-gf.. little that I know she is attached! GOODNESS! Why can't she tell me? Good thing I wasn't holding her hand when her boyfriend appears from no where. Let's put it this way, taiwanese are so friendly!!!! And people in Singapore, listen, in order to attract more people from foreign countries or to promote tourism here, let's learn to be MORE FRIENDLY ok???

Heartbreak

2006-06-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

Heartbreak. What's your definition for Heartbreak? Well, since this is my boring blog, I shall share with you what's my version of Heartbreak. It's gonna be long. So, bear with me. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Heartbreak, when my girlfriend whom I loved for 2 years, left me. I want to go all out to save that relationship! But at that point, my unit in camp just started the staying in policy. So I can't go out, and I can only see my girlfriend leave me. It sounds like an excuse until she found someone she love. I have to give up. Oh yeah! I am happy for her, I always tell my friends I am happy for her. But I lied...
it breaks my heart the most when I finally know I can never have her back in my arms again.

Heartbreak 2, when I get to be with this girl who's 4 years older than me. She was really nice to me. There's no girlfriend I know who will treat me as nice as her. What I want to do is to be there for her, to share her sorrows over her ex-boyfriend, to help her get over him, and OF COURSE, love her. But deep inside my heart, I am prepared she will leave me. I am her life jacket, once she got over her past, I might not be able to be by her side anymore. I wish my lifespan as her life jacket would last long, maybe forever. However, the day came when she told me she want to break up because we many differences.

I lost confidence with girls I liked. Everytime, when I know I have feelings for someone, it will eventually turn to vain as I always screw it up. What's really heartbreaking for me now, is that whenever I am alone eating lunch, dinner, going out or rotting at home, I can still remember I used to do these with the girl I loved. But now, I can only imagine she's there... smiling at me, laugh at my nonsense, in a way to self-console. I really MISS her...

People, I know you must have gone through worse than mine. But our hearts, the pain is all the same! It's so pain that sometimes you can't even breathe. But you know what's the good thing about heartbreak? You still have feelings! You are not that bad after all! You are not worse than the heartbreakers out there! So don't think of doing anything stupid. YOU ARE STILL NOT ALONE!

Defination for One-Itis

2006-06-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

One-Itis, a term I read from a particular book written by a particular author who has a particular statement to make. Okay, let's get straight to the meat.

I may not be too accurate, but before I explain what one-itis mean, I need to ask you people some questions (assume the reader is a male okay?):

1. When you like a girl, do you feel that you want to tell her that you love her, and you want to be with her to take care of her, and she can make your whole life feel complete? However you don't know how to phrase it to her?
2. Do you feel a bit nervous whenever she's around?
3. Are you afraid to offend her in anyway, therefore you paid attention to every single detail about her and the surroundings so you think you can try to make her happy? Put this another way, you don't dare to speak freely because you scared you might offend her in anyway?
4. Is there a certain amount of uncomfortable silences between the two of you?
5. You won't hold her hand until she's your girlfriend. Yes?

Okay, that's about it. If in any of these questions, you answered "YES", you have one-itis with your crush. One-itis is a term used when you have problems expressing yourself infront of the girl you like, even though you really love her, but you are just uncomfortable whenever she's around. Well, it's not a bad thing though.. but it makes it difficult for you to take another step to bring this friendship to another level. I can summarize all these into one question for you.

"What if your CRUSH becomes your CRASH?"

Relax dudes, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I am going through this with you people too!

No Woman No Cry

2006-06-17T23:49:00.000-07:00

I was listening to this song "No Woman No Cry" by Bob Marley.
The thought comes into my mind. I was thinking, "Yeah, he is right, nothing wrong being single, nothing to be sad about when you are lonely. No Woman no cry."

To all singletons out there, this is my message to you all,
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT.
Point your finger in front of you to something very far. (If you can see the sea, point to it.) Look, the road is far and never ending. We got to keep walking. As we keep walking, we will eventually meet someone, rather than stop where you are right now. Nothing's gonna happen if you just stay where you are. Move on people! Start the singleton REVOLUTION! Get rid of those negative thoughts, don't worry, don't cry. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Let's walk hand in hand to a brighter future and you will find your perfect match in future to come!

Well, it's the same if you need someone to talk to, don't worry, I'll give you my number, call me and I will make you happy! -.-

The Day I Cease To be A British Citizen

2006-06-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

21 years old. The determining age when I have to choose whether to be a "full-time" Singapore Citizen or a "full-time" British Citizen. People may wonder where the hell I get this British Citizenship. Well, for your information, my Dad is Hong Ki. So during the year when I was born, 1984, Hong Kong was still under the British Colony, so that's how and when I got this whacky British Citizenship.

Now, here's the catch. Why would they send me a letter now and ask me to make a choice? Well, did they forget that I am serving the NATIONAL SERVICE? GET THE MESSAGE? HUH? Why would I want to serve 2 years and 2 months of nonsense if I would eventually choose to be a British Citizen? It would make me look like an idiot? RIGHT? Why would someone waste 2 years and 2 months of his life if he could have made use this period to study and get a DEGREE? I would be 22 years old now, and got a degree ages ago, and will be working and earn tons of money instead of some miserable pricky allowance provided by the SAF. WOW!

Welcome to Singapore my dear friends who are foreigners who decided or still considerating of being a PR or a citizen in this GREEN city. -.-"

Last Duty

2006-06-12T02:43:00.000-07:00

Finally my last duty is over! I look back at my camp mates, pointed them my finger, smiled at them, and said, "Look at my finger. What does it say? What does it mean to me? It means, The significant day, the significant duty. One more day, the last duty!" And I walk away laughing. That's kinda cruel to those peeps who just join in my unit, but I suppose they will eventually understand what it means when it is their turn to point their finger at their future mates.
We had hot plate and barbecue at night to celebrate in camp.
Imagine when people come to the base when they just see people in green having barbecue at the guard house, they will go like, "Hey! Is this the coolest unit I ever seen? They are having barbecue in camp!" and I will go like, "Yeah! Wait till you join our unit, we will give you GOOD DEAL!" (The term GOOD DEAL, is only used when we want to give the worst duty timing to our new mates in camp).
Well, my real good deal is in the next day. I get to sing Karaoke with 2, not 1, but TWO PRETTY GIRLS at KBox in Orchard Cineleisure. Yeah, that's kinda cool! Actually, I knew them for 9 years, and they are sisters, so it's okay for me to hang out with them right?
B, E, A, Utiful!! So much for my last duty in living hell.

One more DAY!

2006-06-08T23:43:00.000-07:00

One more day before my last duty in Changi Defense Squadron.
The sense of achievement is pouring in to my very veins! One and a half years of duty, finally come down to ONE more day.
Well, so many one-more-day events in life, but this should be the most significant yet. What a pathetic life I've been leading! What am I going to do for the remaining two months before I ORD? A tough question. Well, I've been trying to do some design work, trying to pick up the skills I've lost through my lazy days in the navy.
What a boring day to begin on the very 1st day of the WORLD CUP! Cool, but I am not sure whether I have the commitment to stay up late at night to watch that damn match. I wonder what will happen if Germany happens to lose this first match. OPS! Should be quite a sight.
This is a boring blog which I am typing mindlessly.
-.-"

If my 21 years of life become a Movie.

2006-05-30T08:35:00.000-07:00

What would it be if my life is to be made into a movie?
Firstly, I need to time some time to extract the finest moments of my life because there aren't much of those moments. Then I have to guage them from the funniest to the lousiest, from the most exciting to the less exciting, from the sad to the saddest. Wow, that would really take alot of effort for the scriptwriter.
Secondly, I will have to cut straight to the meaty part of my life. It should be people I meet with in life and the things "the people" and I do. I suppose that should be interesting. Followed by the countries I've been to, the most memorable one is China, Shanghai, and the events that happened there. Then, the life I went through in my 2 years of NS. And all the clubbing, partying and the nonsense which I did, dating back to my seconday school days onwards. Well, pretty much there though.
I suppose the genre of the movie about my life would be some, some R21 arty farty movie? Or a M18 comedy movie?

Memories

2006-05-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

Everybody have memories. From good to bad, funny to angry, happy to sad. Guess we have to live with it whether we like it or not ya? Is there any way to get rid of memories which is so good yet so depressing?
I had a dream last night. I dreamt of my ex-girlfriend. She is introducing me to her current boyfriend. Well, I don't know how people feel but I feel very depressed to see someone whom I loved so much, with another guy. I guess jealousy and selfishness are eating my brain at that moment. Who doesn't feel that way? Still, it was in my dream, I went forward to shake his hand and wish him well. I love her, that's the only reason I want her to be happy. I have to let her go eventually.
What is love? Well, 36 years ago, a man wrote a song about love which came into my mind at this point of time. Is it true?

"Love is real, real is love. Love is feeling, feeling love. Love is wanting to be loved."
"Love is touch, touch is love. Love is reaching, reaching love. Love is asking to be loved."
"Love is you, you and me. Love is knowing, we can be."
"Love is free, free is love. Love is living, living love. Love is needing to be loved."

Don't worry, be happy.

2006-05-24T02:22:00.000-07:00

IF you are lonely at home, and there's nothing to do. Don't worry, be happy.
If you feel depressed over arguments with friends or family. Don't worry, be happy.
If you are just dumped by your wonderful "other half". Don't worry, be happy.
If you can't have any satisfaction in your current relationship. Don't worry, be happy.
If you are stuck in making important decisions in life. Don't worry, be happy.
If you still have a LONG time to serve in the National Service. Don't worry, be happy.
If you have no money for clothes, or things you want to buy. Don't worry, be happy.
If you are fired by your CRAZY boss. Don't worry, be happy.
If you don't have any inspirations in your works. Don't worry, be happy.
If you find yourself extremely ugly, fat and short and irritating. Don't worry, be happy.
If you lost your handphone which contains all your gorgeous, pretty, hot, lovable friends' contact numbers in it. Don't worry, be happy.
If you worry, you will frown, and it takes more facial muscles to frown than to smile.
If you still worry, Mr Chan Ji Wei will give you his phone number, call him and he will make you happy.

When you live a lonely life.

2006-05-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

It begins when he wakes up in the morning, he can't be bothered of washing his face or brush his teeth. He will just head straight to his computer to check the status of his downloads. (ya, you know what I mean) Then he begins to play his LONG LONG list of music in the computer. (can't even be bothered with what genre he is listening to.)

After that, he begins to stare at the computer. (you know that kind of blank stare when you don't know what are you going to say or do) He begins to feel restless, therefore he will find things to do. He begins to brush his teeth and do whatever that is needed to be done in the toilet. He walks out of the living room to see his dog sleeping as usual. He will then clean up its shit and urine.

After that, he will find food to eat (mostly potato chips, soft drinks) and puts a dvd into his computer to watch a movie (although he watched it more than twice, he still watches it as if it was the first time he watch this shitty movie) He will watch one movie after another until dinner. Then he will continue to watch movie after movie until he's tired of those shitty movies. He will play this SAME list of music again before he turns to bed.

Introducing the life of a lonely guy living in his lonely apartment with his lonely fat dog.

Saturday 13 May

2006-05-12T23:12:00.000-07:00

Booking Out is really a joy to we pathetic NSF as we finally get to breathe some fresh air and most importantly, we are known as human again. We got names YA? Not corporal, sergeant, or whatever nonsense we are named first before our surnames. Since this is my miserable blog, which I can say whatever I WANT, let me share with you something regarding my job as a SEA SOLDIER.

1. We are called sea soldier, not regimental policeman or RP. This particular unit decides to become independant... right..

2. We are not RPs!!!!! Therefore, we don't enjoy the same privilege as the RPs. We don't get to book out as often as the RP. Some of them get to do 2 duties before they get 2 days off. As for US, we get to stay in all the way till thursday, book out, book in on friday for duty, book out on saturday, and book in back on Sunday. There's some alternatives in this book in book out system which I shall not further elaborate as this is just too lengthy.

3. Yes, we do the same duty as the RPs. We guard the base. Not just that, those who can drive shall do extra duties. Hm? What kind of extra duties? Well, we have to go pack lunch for our fellow campmates who are situated around the base, we fetch and deploy people around, and we got more fatigue duties! Add on to our normal duties..

Well, I shall not share more, as in chinese, there is such a saying, "There are ears in surrounding walls." I shall not get into any trouble saying what I want to say here too -.-" because I am going to ORD soon! -..-"

Birth

2006-05-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

THE BIRTH of my first blog! Honestly, I do not want to start this. However, due to circumstances in my quarter-life crisis, I am single, old, bored, rotting, jobless, schooless and it goes on and on, I decided to spend some time on this scarced blog. .......
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ok, I am having a writer's block..
-.-"