A Letter for Someone I Love

I know you won't be looking at my blog, therefore I can say it here, what's really on my mind. I don't want you to feel bad or anything, when you tell me the truth.

I am putting on a mask, trying to smile and joke with you, even you said you wanted to give a second thought about this relationship. I don't want to force you to make the decision, because I don't want you to regret. BUT, actually, I am not that generous. I am so sad, because I knew I am going to lose you. I would do anything to win your heart, seriously. But I am afraid I will still lose you eventually. I am lying to myself whenever I think that you will choose me. How would you give up your love with someone you knew so long, over a guy whom you just know? Reality is always being cruel to me.

People can say I am a jerk. Well, I am a jerk! You can be honest and straightforward when you told me you have second thoughts about this relationship, but I can't be honest and straightforward to tell you that I love you and I will never let you go..